cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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