you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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