Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
