Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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