I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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