Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Randomize
