I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You dont lie about slip and slides
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
