I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
