It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
