so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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