South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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