new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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