i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize