He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize