Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
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It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
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Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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