Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch