Farmville is her only friend.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
