she was so not down for the gang bang
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
