I like my sex mixed with concussions.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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