Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?