I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.