Can Purell be used as lube?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?