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i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
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