Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
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I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
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So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Drunk is not a location!
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.