oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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