I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just sucked dick on a ferry
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
