I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize