Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
