69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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