she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
