you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
