when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
