ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
This house was built for laser tag.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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