I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
