I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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