Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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