I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
my nose is crying tears of wow.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
