he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
