one might say we're banned from that church
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
