would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
