i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
