Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
