lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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