Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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