Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
