Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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