How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
