i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
