hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
