ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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