I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
