I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
