Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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