I want to stick my p in your. b.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
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i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
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He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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