I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Sext me about skeletons
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
