can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
