marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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