After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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