I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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