Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I just gift wrapped bread.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.