Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad

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(914): View more from New York

he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3

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(760): View more from California

I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(303): View more from Colorado

I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this

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(513): View more from Ohio

hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"

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(860): View more from Connecticut

She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.

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