At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.