Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!

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(619): View more from California

We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants

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(770): View more from Georgia

and technically it was a rebound

(407): View more from Florida

so lol

(770): View more from Georgia

and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game

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(217): View more from Illinois

My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(706): View more from Georgia

dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.

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(905): View more from Ontario

Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.

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(630): View more from Illinois

How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?

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