high people should be assigned attendants
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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