pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
So squirting runs in the family.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
